Every guy that has been away on a summer holiday with the boys knows the best way to get the whole thing organised is by creating a group WhatsApp chat. You’re sure to be able to put each member of your squad to the below personas and if there’s any you’re stuck on, it’s probably because that one is you.
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The big boss. The main man. The man with a plan. This is the guy who set the whole ball rolling. He put the idea of a group holiday out there and now, whether he likes it or not, it’s his job to round up the troops, collect deposit money and make sure the trip gets booked.
Just don’t get on the wrong side of him. He has power, lots of power.
A man of few words…..or none at all for the most part. You know he’s up for getting away because he keeps replying with a thumbs up each time the group is asked for the next instalment of cash or if he’ll pick a couple of the lads up on the way to the airport. Nothing else, just a thumbs up. Perhaps the occasional tears of laughter emoji when somebody whips out a sick burn, but a simple ‘yes’, ‘no’, or ‘haha so funny lol’? You’ve got no chance.
Is he coming? Has he pulled out? You don’t know because there’s always that one guy that rarely checks his phone, never opens the group chat and probably muted notifications weeks ago. It’s annoying for sure, especially when it comes to chasing money. But if he never reads messages, that means you never get the dreaded blue-ticked-no-reply when speaking to him on individual chats. Every cloud…
Conversely, there’s always one lad who has spent more time on his phone than you’ve had hot dinners. He’s keen for a holiday, no doubt. He’s told you that 30 times already. Along with, well, just about everything else in his life. What he’s doing this weekend, screenshots of all the bars he can’t wait to drink dry, work stresses, funny cat videos. If a message from the group chat has popped up, you can be almost sure it’s this guy.
He’s been invited but either already has plans on the dates you’re going away or simply can’t afford it. Fair enough. But why is he still in the group chat? You’ve seen he keeps reading messages and are pretty sure he’s as annoyed as anybody about serial poster guy’s constant spamming, so what’s stopping him from leaving already?
He’s still there. Scrolling. Judging. Lurking.
Who is +44 9434 267625, exactly? You didn’t add him to the group and certainly don’t recognise him in his profile picture, so what is he doing here? He’s popped up with the occasional reply and appears to have been accepted by the rest of the boys as one of their own, though you haven’t got the foggiest. He could have been added by mistake and is now just winging it or maybe he’s an undercover other half. Best to keep your eye on this one.
Despite the intrusion of random number lad, you’re certain you know the rest of the group. They’re your boys, after all. You’ve known them for years. Wait, who’s ‘Lord Bantzalot’? He seems like another imposter but mirrors the characteristics of your good mate Smithy.
Oh, that is Smithy? You could spot his witty sense of humour a mile off. He must have changed his WhatsApp name to Lord Bantzalot. Classic Smithy.
Your group getaway wouldn’t be the same without this fella. He’s a key member of the pack; a good laugh, pays up on time and just generally one of the boys…
Which is why you’re so disappointed when he drops the bombshell that he can’t make it. Not that that stops you from adding him back into the group to let him know what he’s missing out on each time he tries to sneak out. We want you with us, buddy!
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Published on 7th May 2019
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