After the recent media storm concerning the wild behaviour of certain teens in Magaluf, parents everywhere are growing increasingly concerned about what their teenagers might be getting up to on their first unsupervised holiday. If your child is venturing abroad with their friends this summer, we’ve thought up some useful suggestions to help you wave them off without fear!
When your teenager is sitting on their case to force it closed and moaning about the weight, help them out by announcing that you will not be washing or ironing the dirty laundry on their return. They’ll soon rethink how many tops they actually need…
We all know that in every group of teenagers there’s always one who is most likely to lead everyone else astray. Invite all members of the group round, subtly identify the troublemaker and flash them the good old ‘I-know-what-your-game-is’ stare. Top tip: if you can’t spot the ringleader, it’s probably your own kid.
The week before departure, find yourself miraculously inspired to get the family healthy, and insist your teenager join you on 10-mile runs and circuit training classes. Let’s see them hack long nights out dancing when their muscles are racked with post-workout cramps…
If they were on holiday with you they’d be out of bed and busy enjoying themselves by 9am, and you don’t want them to miss out on the fun just because they’ll be having a few late nights! Hide small alarm clocks in their luggage, each scheduled to go off on a different morning, so they’re forced out of bed to find them. It might even encourage them to unpack.
You’ve got to let them go at some point, so just take a deep breath and trust that you’ve raised a smart, responsible kid who’s going to get up to a bit of drunken mischief but ultimately come home safe and happy, having had the good sense to know when to call it a night.
Or handcuff them to your wrist and keep them with you forever. Both rational options.
By Kate Moxon – 20-something survivor of the teenage holiday